Monday, May 29, 2006

Fwd Email: New Definitions

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words. -->Seriously ?

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Yawn : The only time some people ever get to open their mouth.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Etc . : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience : The name people give to their mistakes.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

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