Think About What is Really Worth It

This is not about falling in love and romance.

I started off by graduating from APIIT (2002). I worked hard for my thesis project (a simulation software for taxi hunting). I am proud of it till now.

I had never thought that I will study anything related to computer because truth is, when I was younger, I really hate computers.

Ironically, I got lost (along my teenage life and messed things up) and ended up in APIIT.

I rebuilt my life in APIIT and enrolled into DF9907 and volunteered as class representative.

First year was really challenging and fun. I hadn't done any computer programming in my life and wasn't sure if I can do anything about it.

The first programming exposure was creating algorithm for Fibonaci series. I got stuck initially but I tried. Eventually, I got light about computer programming.

I started to enjoy it and spent most of first year in APIIT doing computer programming especially in the Unix lab.

The proudest moment was when I created a tic-tac-toe games with cursor using Unix COBOL. Hey, that was great you know. And I got praises from people all over.

I felt talented.

When it came second year, my confidence was crushed.

It started when I was switching from Unix based programming to Windows event based programming. I was supposed to do a client server program using VB6 Winsock and I got stuck. Somehow, the event and object-oriented thingy was confusing. I started to question my future in programming.

Even though the project was completed eventually, second year wasn't all that great.

The final year thesis was a great challenge. I really wanted to prove myself and being a risk taker, I proceed with my plans of doing a big project. I almost failed but eventually the project was a success and even the lecturer thinks that I got some stuffs to prove.

Ok, confident soared but that was a tough one.

So, landed the first job as computer programmer for a manufacturing company where me and a few guys were supposed to build the in-house ERP system. Wow! that was really ambitious you know.

If you want to know the truth, I can tell you that whatever skills you have in college will not be good enough in the real world. All of sudden, I realized that there are just so much to learn and seemed like never ending. It was that time which I began to do my own research.

By 1.5 years, I decided that I really hate computer programming and had no future for it. I felt that I was wasting time and I had to find ways to make millions.

I quit and went to sales and marketing. I did that for about 4 years and hadn't make million.

And to amaze you more, I quit sales and marketing and went back to computer programming since 2008; literally starting from scratch (but not really). It is more like a continuation.

It wasn't easy, in fact it was really tough. The first challenge was to find out where I have messed up and started fixing from there. What I mean by this is that I knew that I had to figure out where I had left out and what I didn't understand during that time and what computer programming concepts which went wrong.

Slowly and eventually(step by step, day by day), I conquered the past and master new skills.

And today, I see future in computer programming.

I am not yet famous, but I see future.

What I wanted to share here is that what kept me going was not everything about passion, it was more about worthiness.

If you are caught in such situation, you got to really think about what is worth it. For me it was basically one idea; which is if I can develop a software and sell it, I will make 100% profit. And everything is within my control. That sounds a better strategy to make millions than to sell products of others.

Furthermore, I was looking for something with accumulation effects; the longer you do, the better. And software development seemed fit.

So, when I was at a crossroad two years ago, I really suffered, lonely and unsure. But I thought about what is worth it ?

Today, I am not working as CTO of Microsoft or being a chief programmer of Google, but what I am doing is worthy to me and relevant to the industry.

When things are tough, think about worthiness and try to work around your area of interests and passions.

You have come this far, and how many more to go ?

You also need courage and a lot of it.

I will end with a quote of mine.

"I knew that I didn't choose this life, I just know what to do next." ~ Brandon Teoh.

Good luck dude.